As you may have found out that people in the world have a couple of screws lose in their minds, sex in itself is a weird act then certain people have found a way to even make it weirder.
In case you don’t know of this fact, someone asked a question on Reddit and the replies are nothing short of hilarious or bewildering.
This list was created by Alex, TheChive, enjoy the read.
1. This girl couldn’t wait to ride Vlaid
Was about two millimeters away from entering this one girl, and she belts out “OH! Take me to the moon!”
Internally, I was laughing my ass off while my dick seemed like it hit a patch of “Insta-Soft”. As she was a virgin, I felt terrible blaming her for my sudden lack of boner. I simply told her it was performance anxiety and fell on my own sword flaccid noodle.
2. Aluusha met someone who announce their orgasm weirdly
He said, in Nigel Thronberry’s voice “oh, aluushka, I’m arriving.” It was so awkward but I couldn’t stop laughing.
3. Thelaw316’s girlfriend ran commentary throughout orgasm
My girlfriend is a talker. However, at one point, mid gasping orgasm, “I always assumed I’d have a wide variety of sexual partners but if this is what you do then I don’t see it as a high priority!” It was like having sex with an auctioneer.
4. This lady asked pantyscrambler the owner of her pussy.
She slapped my ass and said “who’s pussy is this?” It was our first time and I wasn’t sure if it was hers or mine, so I ignored her. She did it again but this time she pinched my nipples and screamed “Answer me!!!” Having a 50/50 chance I said it was my pussy. Afterwards she says that’s right, it’s your pussy. Don’t forget it. 7 years later, it’s STILL my pussy, lol.
5. Lolwutwhere’s girlfriend is a team player
Had a girlfriend once who pulled away from my dick after giving me head, looked directly into my eyes, swallowed, and said “go team.”
6. Kinsorya had a weird mirror moment during sex
Was once having sex with my SO doggy style and in front of us was a mirror, I waved at her through the mirror and she laughed so hard that she pissed all over my dick and the bed
7. Maebtonight1 didn’t want to a taste of his pepperoni
Old fwb liked to dirty talk (so do I ), but in one of our sessions, he kept referring to his penis as his “pepperoni”.
“You want a taste of this pepperoni?”. No. No, I don’t.
Dried me up like the Sahara desert.
8. YoungRaddish hooked up with a Frenchman that announced penetration
Was having sex with a french guy. On his heaviest, thickest french accent, he said “I will now put my penis in your vagina.” I laughed and it both got us off the mood.
9. EnsonAmata found out not all sex tips should be taken from Cosmo
My ex had apparently read in Cosmo that guys like to have their assholes finger-blasted. So, one night, she’s giving me a blowjob and decided to give me the ol sneaky finger. I lurched forward and accidentally shoved my dick down her throat. She puked. Then I puked. We never spoke of it again.
10. Rough_and_Ready really likes it rough
The first time I ended up in bed with an old fuck buddy, he asked me to don a pair of boxing gloves and punch him across the face and chest. This in itself wasn’t really unexpected as we’d already talked about how that kind of thing turned him on. The unexpected part was how much I got off on it. I discovered a new kink that night.
11. JustJoeB’s date was on the phone while riding the dick
Her mom called mid-sex. She was expecting the call because of some family issue so when the phone rang while she was riding me, she looked at the caller ID, got off me and just said “I have to take this, wait” (she explained after the fact who it was and why she was expecting it, on the moment it was really unex